OH LANTA.....

OK so i have never had to try and have so much self control before ha ha it is hard news bears:/ i mean when you are with the one you love it is hard to keep a clear head..... but not impossible. this past weekend was a brutal one. all these emotions that are so new to me come flying out at you and you just don't know what to do? or how you got where you are? it is totally blind. not that anything bad has ever happened I'm just saying once I'm married i will never have to deal with the holding everything back emotion ha ha i will be able to be free in every part of life. not that i am not free now but I'm not as free as i will be once i am married. although i feel really stupid for writing this all down for the public eye to see! but sometimes you just have to get it off your chest. otherwise it builds up to the point of explosion! its like BANG!!!!!!! or BOOM!!!!!!
it is totally going to be worth it right??